Stressing out

I have been kind of freaking out lately about my future, yet I was listening to a podcast today about worship and God related subjects when I realized that my freaking out has been semi caused from my recent distant feeling from God. I really haven't had any close God time recently. I've allowed myself to get taken up with worldly fears, when all along I simply needed to trust again in the lord and know that he will guide my path and show me exactly where I am supposed to go in my life. how I forgot this I cannot understand, not too long ago I had gained a great amount of peace from the lord over my future and my career path. yet that peace was clouded over by my desire to take control and have a plan for the future. thank you world for pulling my focus from God, it really messed me up!

Worship

this is an area that is close to my heart. something that I have a great passion. there are times when my heart longs to sing and to worship. that was the original reason why I learned guitar, some of my best moments with the lord have been during quiet worship times, when all of the distractions of life are pushed aside and it's just him and I. I have found that one of my greatest passions is bringing people to the foot of the cross. it is so great to create an atmosphere that is as distraction free as we can make it and lead his people in a direction that focuses on him. I feel my life heading in this direction, lord please take away my fear in following your plan.

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broken life

I want so desperately to be love to people. I hate being conditional, I want love to be love and friendships to flow unconditionally. I want judgement to
Be removed from my heart. I would love to look at people in this world and see them as Gods children not filled with my fallen judgements. Love your fellow brothers and sisters as yourself, that is a statement that I have never been able to fully grasp. I am a sinner and God forgives me for being how am, but I have a terrible time accepting that it is almost impossible to fully love people for who they are. You see I am a fixer, someone who can't handle having incomplete or broken things in my life and it drives me crazy when I can't fix those things. I am one of those broken things that I cannot fix and it's driving me crazy. however much I want my life to be fixed and without flaw it is impossible. one area of my life that cannot be changed. I can only pray that God will work in my heart and make me what he originally planned for my life.

Mobile Blogging from here.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

The plot of life thickens

This last week I received a phone call that a semi local church will have a full time worship leader position soon. When I think back to my recent prayer history, this seems like exactly what I've been praying for. however the thought of leaving Monte Vista disturbs me. Between myself and Kimberly we are both very attached to the church, between Jr High and worship I have really fallen in love with this church. I keep praying that God would close any doors that are currently open or show me how to interpret the signs and options that are opening or available.

Lord I pray that you take all fears from my heart and fill me with security and confidence to trust in your plan for my future and career.