Back to the heart of worship

There is nothing like ending a dry season of life with a wonderful time of worship to bring myself back to the foot of the cross. It seems to me that my spiritual life is significantly tied to my times of worship.
Another revelation that I never would have realized if it had not been for this season that I was in. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes and reminding me how much I need you in my life.

Married life...

Tomorrow will be our 6 month wedding anniversary, absolutely crazy that it's been 6 months already. these have truly been the best months of my life.
One thought about married life that I would recommend to anyone is to make sure to remove technology from your life consistently and intentionally. I have found that either computers or tv seems to distract us so often and removes all interaction between us and the outside world. Now I'm not saying that I am good at this at all, however this last week we forced ourselves to take a technology fast whenever we were together and it has been a great experience. I'm not planning on making this permanent, however it really makes us realize how much time we spend distracting ourselves with technology. Once this week is done we will be sitting down and making a game plan for keeping tech time to and minimum and us time to a maximum. We were talking about these last six months and decided that we didn't want to look back at our first year of marriage to only remember wasting time on our computers. I want to interact, I want to go for bike rides, I want to be spontaneous and go on more road trips. I love my wife and want to get to know more about her not more about tv shows and my computer.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Testing

Lately I have been feeling like there is some line testing going on in my life

I often wonder if God is pushing me toward somewhere I don’t think I can go.

Every day for me is a day that I would love to give up

However when I really consider it, I realize that there is no way that I can.

Thursdays are usually a good day for me because I’m usually away from work on those days.

They are days when I can be lazy and not actually do the things that I really should be doing.

I feel like I can get away with being lazy because there is no one around to push me.

However my heart never takes a day off.

It always feels the tug and pull of the spirit.

It keeps my mind rolling with thoughts of past conversations and discussions.

However I have a wonderful way of drowning those thoughts out,

Some days it’s with TV, some days with the computer.

I have an incredible mind for procrastination.

I can convince and easily allow myself to do almost anything other than what I should be doing.

Some days I feel like the distractions are there as a test yet I seem to fail every time.

I have found that I love to read,

I have also found that reading takes second place when my brain sets out to entertain itself.

My life is a little like a musician testing a microphone,

Testing one two three.

Test one, this is where I see the list of things I need to do but the microphone isn’t turned on yet so of course I could never get started with those things.

Two is here and my mind has given me some “better” options for more entertaining things to do but the microphone still isn’t on.

Test three I have taken both one and two into consideration but the microphone was just turned on and now its blaring and we all know how much I love my own voice and option two is just so close to my mind that I jump on that option and off I go to waste my day away on useless things.

Now I realize that my life is nothing like a microphone test and that was a horrible analogy simply because it wasn’t an analogy that actually made sense. But I digress.

I’m not sure if God is actually testing me in this area of my life, but I do know that I have built a great system for condoning my procrastination system.

This is absolutely not a system that I am proud of by any means, I just haven’t yet figured out how to stop this system from being such a massive part of my lazy life.

Eventually with time and lots of effort I will discontinue my lazy lifestyle and become a productive citizen for my days away from work.

But for now it is a Thursday morning, my guitar is sitting next to me, my computer in my lap and the TV is just waiting to be turned on… ugh… the life I live.

hmm bummer this post went no where...

Stressing out

I have been kind of freaking out lately about my future, yet I was listening to a podcast today about worship and God related subjects when I realized that my freaking out has been semi caused from my recent distant feeling from God. I really haven't had any close God time recently. I've allowed myself to get taken up with worldly fears, when all along I simply needed to trust again in the lord and know that he will guide my path and show me exactly where I am supposed to go in my life. how I forgot this I cannot understand, not too long ago I had gained a great amount of peace from the lord over my future and my career path. yet that peace was clouded over by my desire to take control and have a plan for the future. thank you world for pulling my focus from God, it really messed me up!

Worship

this is an area that is close to my heart. something that I have a great passion. there are times when my heart longs to sing and to worship. that was the original reason why I learned guitar, some of my best moments with the lord have been during quiet worship times, when all of the distractions of life are pushed aside and it's just him and I. I have found that one of my greatest passions is bringing people to the foot of the cross. it is so great to create an atmosphere that is as distraction free as we can make it and lead his people in a direction that focuses on him. I feel my life heading in this direction, lord please take away my fear in following your plan.

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broken life

I want so desperately to be love to people. I hate being conditional, I want love to be love and friendships to flow unconditionally. I want judgement to
Be removed from my heart. I would love to look at people in this world and see them as Gods children not filled with my fallen judgements. Love your fellow brothers and sisters as yourself, that is a statement that I have never been able to fully grasp. I am a sinner and God forgives me for being how am, but I have a terrible time accepting that it is almost impossible to fully love people for who they are. You see I am a fixer, someone who can't handle having incomplete or broken things in my life and it drives me crazy when I can't fix those things. I am one of those broken things that I cannot fix and it's driving me crazy. however much I want my life to be fixed and without flaw it is impossible. one area of my life that cannot be changed. I can only pray that God will work in my heart and make me what he originally planned for my life.

Mobile Blogging from here.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

The plot of life thickens

This last week I received a phone call that a semi local church will have a full time worship leader position soon. When I think back to my recent prayer history, this seems like exactly what I've been praying for. however the thought of leaving Monte Vista disturbs me. Between myself and Kimberly we are both very attached to the church, between Jr High and worship I have really fallen in love with this church. I keep praying that God would close any doors that are currently open or show me how to interpret the signs and options that are opening or available.

Lord I pray that you take all fears from my heart and fill me with security and confidence to trust in your plan for my future and career.